A haphazard chronicle of my inevitable misadventures during a year in Vietnam and points east.

p.s. I'll be pitifully grateful if you send me email during my exile: TravelerKaty@hotmail.com

October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 February 2006 March 2006 May 2006

 
One of the joys of buying knockoff Chinese DVD's is reading their covers. Strange as it may seem, their manufacturers just don't seem to have the same commitment to proofreading that the original distributors of these movies might have.

Bulletproof Monk, for example, a fairly recent Chow Yun Fat movie, has Chow on the front cover but the back, next to the screen shots of Bulletproof Monk, is a summary of some Vin Diesel action flick called Knockaround Guys.

Sometimes the commentary on the cover is just odd. You know how they put big quotes from reviewers to get you interested in the movie? Legally Blonde 2, a pitifully lame comedy in which virtually nothing happens, tries to draw you in with the following quotes: 1. "A THRILLER THAT WILL GRAB YOU FROM START TO FINISH." (Larry King); and 2. LACKS AN EFFECTIVE VILLAIN OR NEMESIS. (Chicago Tribune). I can't argue with the latter, but either Larry is on some really good drugs or they pulled that quote from the wrong movie.

Die Another Day, last summer's James Bond film, features a paragraph in Chinese and a paragraph in Vietnamese. Sandwiched between the two is the following, and I quote: "the bridge of the Fleet Battlestation Ticonderoga, with its sweeping galactic views, to the desolate terrain of planet Klendathu, teeming with shrieking, fire-spitting, brain-sucking creatures, acclaimed director". Definitely the most unusual Bond yet.

But my favorite so far is the cover for Deliver Us From Eva, a romantic comedy with L.L. Cool J. In fact, I bought it for the cover alone -- I have no idea if it will be watchable, but I absolutely couldn't resist the tortured syntax they gifted us with. Since the small print is in Spanish, I suspect the blurb on the back was translated from English to Spanish, then Spanish back into English using one of those internet instant translators, then maybe in and out of Lithuanian or Hindi for good measure and then handed to handed off to someone's weird Chinese uncle to spellcheck. Here's a sample: "Related three mans total want to get away from the celibacy elder sister that they love wife the story of the love (Eva, add the cloth -- particularly, Gabrielle Union). The love apparently always have no the placeses not at, she although permit the good, hart is such as the iron: As long as a man that a few wordses she can let an alive with self-confidence feel elusive." Impressive, isn't it? Nobody can butcher the English language like the Chinese.

Copyright 2003 Katy Warren
posted by Katy at 12:45 AM